I've grown tired of this blog.

http://brookestuh.livejournal.com/

lucky little shark

I hate getting inspired at 3 in the morning. I blame Gregory and the Hawk. I really am trying to kick this nocturnal habit of mine. I vow to be much more responsible as a 22 year old. This past year has been full of drama and just plain havoc. It makes sense, really. I didn't drink too much before I turned 21. Most people experience that kind of year when they're fresh out of high school. Oh well. Time to grow up.

I am pretty pleased with my birthday plans thus far. I have a dinner thing in New Braunfels later this evening and then I'll drive back for a late poker game. On the 17th I'll be lying around on the greenbelt allllll daaaay [and hopefully catch a recorded Project Runway premier!] and then I'll get dinner and probably go downtown or to a hookah bar or something. And the party on Saturday should wrap it up pretty well.

Hmm, I really should get some sleep. I actually have obligations tomorrow. It's just so difficult to be productive during the summer.

WARNING: Not for the easily offended

I haven't exactly been too religious lately. I basically only discuss religion with my brother and that is simply because I can trust him not to scream down my throat when I bring up controversial issues. Most Christians have never opened their minds to other possibilities and therefore seem almost robotic as they quote scriptures and raise their hands in praise. Most atheists look at me as if I am completely uneducated and outright absurd for considering the possibility that life actually might have a purpose beyond living and dying. Yet oddly enough, I have not met a single person who claims to have a closed mind. So, I just keep my mouth shut. Search for answers without consultation of friends. Thoughts on religion and politics are best kept to myself.

A program featuring past life regression caught my eye a couple weeks ago. It began by introducing people with absurd and completely irrational fears. One woman was deathly afraid of dolls; another, corners. Then a psychotherapist began the regression process on them. The results were fascinating. Many of the people had vivid memories of past lives that actually explained the phobias. Months after the regression, some were completely cured.

Now, I grew up in the Methodist church. Though I have difficulty categorizing myself within a religion lately, I grew up a Christian, and Christians don't exactly believe in reincarnation. Although the results of the show were intriguing, I have a difficult time believing that we have lived before as completely different people. We DO, however, have a whole lot of "junk DNA" that scientists cannot explain. It's just there and something tells me it all serves a purpose. We inherit a lot of our DNA. Would it be so impossible to believe that we can inherit memories of our ancestors? (Though, waiting for any of this to be proven is total Chinese Democracy.)

That's about all the controversy that I think this blog can handle right now.

Annnd another successful weekend...

Oh my goodness oh my goodness. I am exhausted. I went to the lake this weekend for a big July 4th shabang. Canoe rides, fireworks, ladder golf, and oh, so, much, booze. The bad things? I am running on a caffeine pill due to the fact that I didn't sleep much. Oh, and I am burnt to a crisp. Gruhh and lucky me gets to deal with two very human deprived cats right now that intensely enjoy lap sleeping. Whatever it was totally worth it.

You know? I am having quite possibly the best year ever. Yes shit has happened. Lots and lots and lots of shit has happened. But all these kickass trips completely cover up those terrible memories. So here's my 2008 list:

1] Beach trip
2] Camping
3] Tube and tube and tube
4] Finally get my tattoo
5] Guitar lessons
6] Pro baseball game
7] ROLLER COASTERS
8] Lake trip
9] Museum
10] Symphony
11] Actually get in shape
12] Leave Texas
13] Do that big brother/big sister thing
14] See a live play/musical
15] Music festival

Those are all I can think of at the moment. I can already cross quite a few of those off and I'm about to knock a couple more off the list a few weekends in July. So aside from car theft and lame work situations, I'd say it's shaping up pretty damn well. Today, however, has been quite painful and exhausting. Luckily there's an easy solution. It's gonna be SO NICE waking up tomorrow without any of those lovely drunken side effects.



[and oh yes, 11 days... the countdown has officially begun]

At least my cousins own a couple badass boats.

WELL. I am officially never eating again.

I went to Lake Granbury for a family reunion this weekend. My uncle greeted me with a nice big, "Heyyy Brooke, you've gained weight! You look better this way... mom, don't you think Brooke looks better now that she's gained weight?" Thanks for the, um, compliment.

I think I'll stick to a solid diet of wheat thins and booze from now on.

Something real.

I have so much to say these days. So much that cannot possibly be put into vague enough paragraphs to fit on this page.

The past few weeks have been confusing. I have had this longing. Not a longing for anything in particular, just a longing. An inscrutable, abysmal longing. It has left me scratching my head and delving deep into my soul to try and uncover the origin of the mysterious yearn. Why do we want what we can't have? That seems like the story of the century- or better yet, of human kind.

I need to start seeing the things I desire. Seeing is believing.

don't deconstruct

The cats always seem to know when I'm about to get up and be productive, because those are the moments they decide to crawl on my lap and look so blissful that I cannot possibly disturb them. Like now.

My summer is so far shaping up to be amazing. I've gotta say... it's really pleasant working from my apartment... and not paying bills... and making my own hours.... I spend a lot of time listening to music and catching up on my daytime television. I'm beginning to miss a few people, though. A lot of my friends are on a week long camping trip in Colorado at the moment. I initially planned on going, but dropped out when I realized I couldn't take a week off work. Eh, I need the money.

This summer really has been buckets o' fun. I spent the entire months of April and May at the greenbelt- though after running across some lovely poison ivy and taking steroids for 3 weeks, I've decided to stay away for awhile. I spent Memorial Day weekend drinking heavily at Camp Longhorn, swimming around a lazy river, and relaxing on a friend's boat (yes, one of my friends has a boat!). I went camping the first two weekends in June, and although I do not recommend waking up in a tent when it is 100 degrees outside, I could have stayed out there all summer. I'll be floating the river on Saturday and we're planning a beach trip for my birthday, so yeah... I've been having a lot of fun... despite these random (and frequent) horrible decisions.

It's hard to remember to forget.

Diagnosis: "Severe Poison Ivy"

Yes, severe was the term used. I just got back from the dermatologist. Thank GOD I don't have scabies or some other horrible infection. Though I must say, this poison ivy is pretty lame. The doc prescribed me some intense medication known as prednisone.

As he was writing out my prescription, he turned to me and said, "Now, just to warn you... this is going to make you moody. Just be sure to warn your friends and roommates that you are going to be a bit... out of sorts for awhile." Moody? Out of sorts? Greeeat. Just what I need right now. When I got home, I immediately wikipedia'd prednisone. Yep, mania is a side effect. Lucky me! "Manic patients may need to be hospitalized to protect themselves and others." Fingers crossed. At least euphoria is another side effect of prednisone. I could definitely use some of that.

In other news, I have a new job. Yes, it's true. Friday was an interesting day, as well as my last day working at the Doctor's office. The office manager there (as well as the HR lady) told me to go get a new social security card. It was stolen a while back and I hadn't replaced it, but after two months of employment there they decided it was time I got one. I was also told that I would be getting paid for however long it took Friday morning to go get it. I left work at 8:30, returned two hours later and resumed my usual duties. No big deal, right? Well, apparently, the doc was completely oblivious to the current situation. HE thought that I was out running a personal errand and the office manager was too dense to inform him otherwise. That was the one thing about that place... the doc was never around. I mean, it seemed like a good thing- rarely having my boss around- but he didn't see what actually went on there. SO, he was pissed and fired me for being "unreliable". He didn't even look me in the eyes, and he refused to hear my case. That was just that.

Pretty shitty, right? I mean, it was so random. No one saw it coming. I was pretty shocked and disappointed. I've never been fired, and it was all over a stupid misunderstanding. Luckily, these sorts of things happen for a reason. I immediately went into survivor mode and called a friend at my previous place of employment that had offered me my old job back a little while back. I planned on meeting with my old boss today, but a good mentor made me realize how horrible of a decision that would ultimately be. That place is awful. I mean, now more than it ever was. Working there again, as well as trying to move and take a couple classes and deal with this stupid poison ivy and the disappointment of losing my job would stress me out to no end. So I'm gonna take it easy, move out, and start working as an office manager for this lovely psychologist I happen to know! It's such a perfect situation... I couldn't be more grateful.

I am also completely grateful to have awesome friends that know awesome people that own lake houses. My Memorial Day weekend was AMAZING. We spent Saturday gallivanting around "Camp Longhorn" and Sunday at the lake. In case you were wondering, Camp Longhorn is this elite camp where parents pay 3 grand to send their kids to for a couple weeks. We went with booze and partied it up by ourselves. Slept in cabins, swam around the lazy river at 3 am... the whole shabang. I mean, I was under the impression that I had scabies the entire time, but that didn't stop me from having a blast. It was an awesome weekend and just what I needed to get my mind in the right place.

Alrighty, time to pick up my meds! And then off to another Secret Show.

This should be interesting...

I woke up this morning with a double chin.

A very red, itchy, bumpy double chin. It seems I've been attacked by bugs or possibly poisonous plants. All I know is that my chin is very, VERY swollen. The good news? I work at a doctors office.

I took some Clarinex when I got here. It didn't work. So then I got a steroid shot. It doesn't seem to be working, either. SO, it looks like they'll be writing me out a prescription of some sort. Jeeez this super sucks. I don't want to spend my weekend with a freakin' chicken wattle for a chin! Ughhhhhh.

In happier news, I'm moving out of my apartment in NINE DAYS!!! It is about damn time.

Friday, glorious Friday!

I am violating so many dress codes right now. In my defense, I can't really help it.

Ohhh the past couple days have destroyed me. I need to relax this weekend, but it's not gonna happen. I plan on marathoning through LOST when I get home and then drinking the sleepy away. Actually, I need to set aside a good 20 minutes just to pacify Jack when I walk through the door. I haven't been home since yesterday morning, so she's probably close to slitting her wrists. Or... paws.

Totally going on a master cleanse next week. Meaghan and I attempted it once before and didn't even last a full day without going on a taco run. It was so pathetic. We're gonna power through this time. I am 37% sure of it.

Other things I decided today include road tripping to Chicago for Lollapalooza in August. Heeee! The line up is amahahazing. It is going to be the best time ever. Get excited. It's going to be so nice not paying rent this summer. It has been so long since I have been free of major financial obligations. I'm going to try really hard to save up money, but I see a few shopping spree's in my future.

Ew, I need to start packing soon. And cleaning. Two of my favorite things. I'd like to think that I'll start the moving process this week, but that's not very likely. I can see myself rushing at the absolute last minute and ghetto packing my apartment up. At least I'm prepared for it.

Don't forget to send your mother's singing telegrams or things of that nature for Mother's Day! I should probably get on that...

say what?

Pretty anxious to watch the primaries tonight. I'm so ready for all this democratic party bullshit to just be over for chrissake. Obama '09!

So, I haven't gotten a haircut in, oh, I don't know... a good two years. I'd say that's kinda pushin' it. SO, after my highly hectic day at work (I know, I was shocked, too!) I decided to cross a number off my to-do list and chop a few locks off. Now, my to-do list consists of about three things:

1] Get my oil changed.
2] Cut my hair.
3] Clean my apartment.
4] Watch as much LOST as humanly possible.

Okay, so that's four things- three of which I have managed to avoid accomplishing for quite sometime now. But in a last minute decision to be unproductive yet again, I skipped the hair salon and drove straight home. I noticed my scissors sitting out and ended up cutting my hair myself. Risky, I know. Also impulsive, unorthodox, and just plain stupid... but the 3-4 inches I cut off seems to be a nice improvement.

So enough about haircuts and lists and otherwise insignificant things. Today, I was offered my old job back. That's right- the job I quit a couple months ago. The job I resigned arbitrarily. I'm pretty sure the old boss hates my guts. Yet, alas... they are lost without me. Oddly enough the last few days I have been somewhat reminiscent about that stupid old job. Not the position... just a few of the people. And the location, seeing as how I will be living in North Austin this summer. Oh yeah, and the significant pay increase.


Hmm, this should be interesting.

I have sudoku'ed myself to death.

After surfing the web for hours, boredom has finally set in. I've read every single article on CNN.com. I even educated myself about animal domestication and riot survival. I managed to grow tired of StumbleUpon, too, which is a difficult task. Whatever, I'm not complaining. I am getting paid for this nonsense.

In other news, I just ate the tastiest brownie in all the universe and it contained 0 g's-o-fat. Zero! It's mind blowing. Also, I am obsessed with LOST, and I am in love with Sawyer. Yes, the sarcastic asshole. Shocking.

I am having a fiesta this weekend and I pretty much can't wait.


ps-


http://www.cnn.com/POLITICS/analysis/toons/2008/04/28/mitchell/

sleep sleep sleepy

I need to have a chillathon this weekend. The past couple nights have almost killed me. I'm pretty stoked about seeing Jordan tomorrow, though. It has been months. Not too stoked about getting up at 7:30 in the morning ughhh.

I have done nothing today. I have gotten paid to do nothing. Well, that's not true. I have gotten paid to play sudoku, read about current events, answer about 5 phone calls and keep my seat nice and toasty. It's a pretty good thing too, because me and hungover are getting sick of each other.


Whiskey and I are still besties.

title-less

A guy in a Lexus flipped me off on West Riverside this morning because I failed to slam on my breaks and allow him to cut me off as hastily as he would have preferred. Don't you just love humanity?

This is gonna be a pretty stellar day, though. Aside from the fact that a self-proclaimed "computer god" destroyed my computer. He came in on Friday simply to repair a few Outlook errors and start up problems. He managed to temporarily fix those issues, but somehow screwed up the important programs. So now my computer is worse off than it was. Of course. Fortunately, that means I get a new computer in a few days. :)

I get a free lunch today, too. The drug reps are intensely annoying, but at least I get free food out of them. Alright, I should probably get back to my super busy job.

Obamarama!

Dead right.

Ugh. I now realize just why my best friends are my BEST friends. And I suddenly miss them after a longish night of drinking downtown.

Short, actually. I began my day slurping my 7 million calorie frappucino and folding the laundry I left in the dryer the night before. Oh, and the two 17,000 calorie chocolate chip cookies I also purchased before 10:00 am. It's been a long time since I've been awake before noon on a Saturday. It's also been awhile since I've hung out with someone(s) that didn't really understand me. Kind of like a bad first date (though good first dates are a rarity).



Timing is everything.

The song I swore I'd never sing.

Life shmife. Thank god the roads were nice and dry this morning. People freak when they see water. I was in a [jazz-less] trance the entire drive to work. I am somehow not too sleepy right now, though. Apparently, 4 is the new 8.

This week has been quite taxing. Things have been so up and down. I'm just ready for everything to smooth out.

I'm pretty excited about the next couple days. I don't plan on doing a damn thing. I haven't had a relaxing weekend in ages. Thank god I opted out of the camping trip. I am in dire need of a break. A sleep til noon, bake cookies, and live in my pj's kind of break. And maybe I'll buy some shoes.

Was I dreaming last night? It all seems so surreal. The rain, the company, the impulses. I am entangled in emotions right now, but none of it matters. As long as I don't lose a good friend. That's all I care about.

♥

balla holla

My cat has recently developed an obsession with digging burrows in my comforter. Right now, for instance, she is attacking my bed.

Remember that interview I went on a few entries back? The one for the architectural product distributor folks? Turns out, I got the job. They called today and offered it to me. Ha! Suckers. You can't just wait two weeks and assume I am still available. Still, though... I feel pretty bad ass. My current job was definitely worth the wait, though, and I wouldn't trade it for anything right now.

So what IS this alleged job I speak of?! I am a receptionist for the tiniest little doctor's office ever! The doc is a family practitioner and I think he's kind of over it after practicing for 30+ years. He spends about 5 hours in the office TOPS. I answer a few phone calls, schedule a few appointments, check a few people in, and spend the other 7 hours surfing the web and chatting with my 3 bad ass coworkers. We don't even have to deal with insurance companies. And it's definitely not your typical, depressing doctors office where 10 people are dying in the waiting room. Today was the busiest day we'll ever have... and there were a total of 7 patients. Oh, and the BEST part is- aside from having the most relaxed job ever- I get to leave by 4:30 every day (4 on Friday) and still get paid as if I stayed until 5. That's an extra 12 hours a month. My job owns.

Unfortunately, a few friendship things are getting old. It's time for a change or two.

ouchie :(

Yes, Saturday night destroyed my toe for good. I am on a solid diet of booze and Advil to kill the pain. The nail fell off Saturday morning after running around Friday night. That surprisingly took all the pain away! So, of course, a lame ass wearing combat boots had to JUMP on it [see above for the end result]. I'm pretty sure the whole damn toe is gonna fall off. I give it 2-4 weeks.

Eventually I'll write about how bad ass my new job is :). Instead... more pictures from last weekend? [I promise these will be less gross.]

<3

let us rejoice

Don't you hate how the ONLY cure for a massive hangover is drinking more alcohol? Anyway, I am no longer unemployed! Hooray! And I didn't settle for a lame job.

This one's gold.

lordy lord

I need some extrication some time soon. This weekend changed everything. Thursday? Intense. Friday? Intense. Last night? You guessed it. Intense. It has been a great weekend- better than most- it just changed everything. I'm confused and I'm anxious and I'm exhausted. I have a lot to contemplate.

Currently, I need to contemplate in my sleep.

indecisiveness

I have two parties that I am definitely going to on Saturday night... I'm just not quite sure how to pull it off. Fortunately they are only three miles apart. One party will be filled with cute boys. The other party will probably be filled with even MORE cute boys... but they are off limits. That's what I get for dating three of those punks in a two month period. Whatever. I'm done with cute boys, ugly boys... boys in general. My heart's just been bored lately.

In other news, I got back from a job interview not too long ago. It was for an architectural product distributor. Sounds pretty lame, but I think I would enjoy working there. They have only been around for about 6 years, so it's a relatively new company. New companies are fun to work for. You have a lot of say in how to get things done because they're still trying to figure out the most efficient way to do things. There's also a lot of room for growth. It was a very successful interview and I feel really good about it, but that apparently means nothing. I have become very confident in interviews and surprisingly have more experience than I realized, but I can't change the fact that I'm so young. Oh well. Who needs money, anyway? I pride myself in my ability to last almost two months without a paycheck. Funds are getting low, though, and rent is creepin' up. I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Oh, so, ya know how my toe got destroyed on St. Patrick's Day? Well, it somehow got worse. After limping around for a week, it felt pretty much healed. Of course, any gash can easily get infected when you climb around the green belt while drinking tequila all day. Yep. On Monday I spent the day climbing hills and treading through water practically barefoot. I stubbed my toe dozens of times. Tequila has a tendency to mask the pain. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but when I woke up on Dunny's couch Tuesday morning, my toe was oozing and throbbing with pain.

Oooozing.

I limped around all day and then trekked to Town Lake Tuesday night for a secret island show! We transported via canoe to an island on the lake and listened to some blue grass music. It was an awesome time and it made me truly appreciate this city, but a lot of dirt and open toed shoes were involved- making yesterday pretty painful. I was forced to keep my foot elevated at all times, which made walking quite difficult. Any time I so much as put my foot on the ground, intense pain would rush to my toe. It feels better today (at least good enough to allow me to wear heels to my interview), but the complete toe nail is falling off and there is ooziness everywhere.

It's really quite lovely.

so... much... pain...

Why did St. Patrick's Day have to be yesterday? I desperately needed to be productive today.

What began as a low key girl's night with Meg quickly turned into a booze filled night of havoc with all the boys. We went to see Gogol Bordello at Stubb's (which was a-MA-zing). There, I pretty much got destroyed. I made the mistake of moving up in the crowd as close to the stage as possible- while wearing heels. My feet got stomped on 17 million times. It took my big toe 15 minutes to finally stop bleeding. The medic wouldn't even give me a band-aid because it wasn't going to stay on, so we took matters into our own hands... [yes I was limping around downtown like that- it's quite pathetic.]

To kill the pain, I decided to get completely trashed. I'm pretty sure there was a bar. Pretty positive there were shots. I was told that we drove home in a cab and I vaguely remember breaking into the pool. Then I proceeded to walk home from Meg's without wearing shoes. Awesome.

So, hooray for being Irish. My feet hurt really, really bad.

sxsw

So much live music. So much free booze. So very little sleep.

What a week! I was drinking downtown yesterday from 4pm to 4am. Kind of ridiculous. We spent about 7 hours at the Pure Volume party, though. That means I was drinking an endless supply of free red bull and vodka for a good 7 hours. I got pretty wired. AND dehydrated, unfortunately, which explains why I'm home in bed right now and not having more SXSW fun like I had planned. I'm not used to drinking energy drinks in large doses! My bed ridden self has had a difficult time moving around today. Any time I would so much as shift my body position, my heart rate would sky rocket. I figured I should take it easy tonight and get ready for a REdiculous weekend.

Here are some pictures:



Time for water. And sleep.

egads!

The Clinton: Obama debate next week is in Austin. At UT. Down the fucking street.

Must. Get. Tickets.

Tacos and sangrias make Wednesday's perfect. So does Meaghan skipping class. And, um, quitting my job. Eh. Not having a job has certainly made life more entertaining. I have the pictures to prove it.

So, don't you love how crazy blonde hippie whore bitches always ruin everything? I sure do. At least in this case, her crazy blonde hippie whoreness might have been a huge help. Hmm.



This just in: The democratic debate ain't open to the public. :(

Must... sneak... in....

[just kidding]

I'm back! I swear to god... I go through blogs like boyfriends. Or jobs, in my case. I am on the verge of quitting my current one.

1. It's 30 miles away.
2. My ex-friend co-worker has decided to make my 40 hour work week as difficult as possible.
3. They decided to give me 17 MORE responsibilities without a raise involved.
4. I just plain hate it.

My boss really has ticked me off, though. He is making everyone else's lives easier by taking their tasks away and just piling them up on me. Kind of like sacrificing one for the good of many. UGH and my car got stolen last week, so that was fun. It's all been a lot to deal with. So why not just quit my job and deal with the stress of looking for a new one? Whyyy nottt.