I've grown tired of this blog.

http://brookestuh.livejournal.com/

lucky little shark

I hate getting inspired at 3 in the morning. I blame Gregory and the Hawk. I really am trying to kick this nocturnal habit of mine. I vow to be much more responsible as a 22 year old. This past year has been full of drama and just plain havoc. It makes sense, really. I didn't drink too much before I turned 21. Most people experience that kind of year when they're fresh out of high school. Oh well. Time to grow up.

I am pretty pleased with my birthday plans thus far. I have a dinner thing in New Braunfels later this evening and then I'll drive back for a late poker game. On the 17th I'll be lying around on the greenbelt allllll daaaay [and hopefully catch a recorded Project Runway premier!] and then I'll get dinner and probably go downtown or to a hookah bar or something. And the party on Saturday should wrap it up pretty well.

Hmm, I really should get some sleep. I actually have obligations tomorrow. It's just so difficult to be productive during the summer.

WARNING: Not for the easily offended

I haven't exactly been too religious lately. I basically only discuss religion with my brother and that is simply because I can trust him not to scream down my throat when I bring up controversial issues. Most Christians have never opened their minds to other possibilities and therefore seem almost robotic as they quote scriptures and raise their hands in praise. Most atheists look at me as if I am completely uneducated and outright absurd for considering the possibility that life actually might have a purpose beyond living and dying. Yet oddly enough, I have not met a single person who claims to have a closed mind. So, I just keep my mouth shut. Search for answers without consultation of friends. Thoughts on religion and politics are best kept to myself.

A program featuring past life regression caught my eye a couple weeks ago. It began by introducing people with absurd and completely irrational fears. One woman was deathly afraid of dolls; another, corners. Then a psychotherapist began the regression process on them. The results were fascinating. Many of the people had vivid memories of past lives that actually explained the phobias. Months after the regression, some were completely cured.

Now, I grew up in the Methodist church. Though I have difficulty categorizing myself within a religion lately, I grew up a Christian, and Christians don't exactly believe in reincarnation. Although the results of the show were intriguing, I have a difficult time believing that we have lived before as completely different people. We DO, however, have a whole lot of "junk DNA" that scientists cannot explain. It's just there and something tells me it all serves a purpose. We inherit a lot of our DNA. Would it be so impossible to believe that we can inherit memories of our ancestors? (Though, waiting for any of this to be proven is total Chinese Democracy.)

That's about all the controversy that I think this blog can handle right now.

Annnd another successful weekend...

Oh my goodness oh my goodness. I am exhausted. I went to the lake this weekend for a big July 4th shabang. Canoe rides, fireworks, ladder golf, and oh, so, much, booze. The bad things? I am running on a caffeine pill due to the fact that I didn't sleep much. Oh, and I am burnt to a crisp. Gruhh and lucky me gets to deal with two very human deprived cats right now that intensely enjoy lap sleeping. Whatever it was totally worth it.

You know? I am having quite possibly the best year ever. Yes shit has happened. Lots and lots and lots of shit has happened. But all these kickass trips completely cover up those terrible memories. So here's my 2008 list:

1] Beach trip
2] Camping
3] Tube and tube and tube
4] Finally get my tattoo
5] Guitar lessons
6] Pro baseball game
7] ROLLER COASTERS
8] Lake trip
9] Museum
10] Symphony
11] Actually get in shape
12] Leave Texas
13] Do that big brother/big sister thing
14] See a live play/musical
15] Music festival

Those are all I can think of at the moment. I can already cross quite a few of those off and I'm about to knock a couple more off the list a few weekends in July. So aside from car theft and lame work situations, I'd say it's shaping up pretty damn well. Today, however, has been quite painful and exhausting. Luckily there's an easy solution. It's gonna be SO NICE waking up tomorrow without any of those lovely drunken side effects.



[and oh yes, 11 days... the countdown has officially begun]

At least my cousins own a couple badass boats.

WELL. I am officially never eating again.

I went to Lake Granbury for a family reunion this weekend. My uncle greeted me with a nice big, "Heyyy Brooke, you've gained weight! You look better this way... mom, don't you think Brooke looks better now that she's gained weight?" Thanks for the, um, compliment.

I think I'll stick to a solid diet of wheat thins and booze from now on.

Something real.

I have so much to say these days. So much that cannot possibly be put into vague enough paragraphs to fit on this page.

The past few weeks have been confusing. I have had this longing. Not a longing for anything in particular, just a longing. An inscrutable, abysmal longing. It has left me scratching my head and delving deep into my soul to try and uncover the origin of the mysterious yearn. Why do we want what we can't have? That seems like the story of the century- or better yet, of human kind.

I need to start seeing the things I desire. Seeing is believing.

don't deconstruct

The cats always seem to know when I'm about to get up and be productive, because those are the moments they decide to crawl on my lap and look so blissful that I cannot possibly disturb them. Like now.

My summer is so far shaping up to be amazing. I've gotta say... it's really pleasant working from my apartment... and not paying bills... and making my own hours.... I spend a lot of time listening to music and catching up on my daytime television. I'm beginning to miss a few people, though. A lot of my friends are on a week long camping trip in Colorado at the moment. I initially planned on going, but dropped out when I realized I couldn't take a week off work. Eh, I need the money.

This summer really has been buckets o' fun. I spent the entire months of April and May at the greenbelt- though after running across some lovely poison ivy and taking steroids for 3 weeks, I've decided to stay away for awhile. I spent Memorial Day weekend drinking heavily at Camp Longhorn, swimming around a lazy river, and relaxing on a friend's boat (yes, one of my friends has a boat!). I went camping the first two weekends in June, and although I do not recommend waking up in a tent when it is 100 degrees outside, I could have stayed out there all summer. I'll be floating the river on Saturday and we're planning a beach trip for my birthday, so yeah... I've been having a lot of fun... despite these random (and frequent) horrible decisions.

It's hard to remember to forget.

Diagnosis: "Severe Poison Ivy"

Yes, severe was the term used. I just got back from the dermatologist. Thank GOD I don't have scabies or some other horrible infection. Though I must say, this poison ivy is pretty lame. The doc prescribed me some intense medication known as prednisone.

As he was writing out my prescription, he turned to me and said, "Now, just to warn you... this is going to make you moody. Just be sure to warn your friends and roommates that you are going to be a bit... out of sorts for awhile." Moody? Out of sorts? Greeeat. Just what I need right now. When I got home, I immediately wikipedia'd prednisone. Yep, mania is a side effect. Lucky me! "Manic patients may need to be hospitalized to protect themselves and others." Fingers crossed. At least euphoria is another side effect of prednisone. I could definitely use some of that.

In other news, I have a new job. Yes, it's true. Friday was an interesting day, as well as my last day working at the Doctor's office. The office manager there (as well as the HR lady) told me to go get a new social security card. It was stolen a while back and I hadn't replaced it, but after two months of employment there they decided it was time I got one. I was also told that I would be getting paid for however long it took Friday morning to go get it. I left work at 8:30, returned two hours later and resumed my usual duties. No big deal, right? Well, apparently, the doc was completely oblivious to the current situation. HE thought that I was out running a personal errand and the office manager was too dense to inform him otherwise. That was the one thing about that place... the doc was never around. I mean, it seemed like a good thing- rarely having my boss around- but he didn't see what actually went on there. SO, he was pissed and fired me for being "unreliable". He didn't even look me in the eyes, and he refused to hear my case. That was just that.

Pretty shitty, right? I mean, it was so random. No one saw it coming. I was pretty shocked and disappointed. I've never been fired, and it was all over a stupid misunderstanding. Luckily, these sorts of things happen for a reason. I immediately went into survivor mode and called a friend at my previous place of employment that had offered me my old job back a little while back. I planned on meeting with my old boss today, but a good mentor made me realize how horrible of a decision that would ultimately be. That place is awful. I mean, now more than it ever was. Working there again, as well as trying to move and take a couple classes and deal with this stupid poison ivy and the disappointment of losing my job would stress me out to no end. So I'm gonna take it easy, move out, and start working as an office manager for this lovely psychologist I happen to know! It's such a perfect situation... I couldn't be more grateful.

I am also completely grateful to have awesome friends that know awesome people that own lake houses. My Memorial Day weekend was AMAZING. We spent Saturday gallivanting around "Camp Longhorn" and Sunday at the lake. In case you were wondering, Camp Longhorn is this elite camp where parents pay 3 grand to send their kids to for a couple weeks. We went with booze and partied it up by ourselves. Slept in cabins, swam around the lazy river at 3 am... the whole shabang. I mean, I was under the impression that I had scabies the entire time, but that didn't stop me from having a blast. It was an awesome weekend and just what I needed to get my mind in the right place.

Alrighty, time to pick up my meds! And then off to another Secret Show.

This should be interesting...

I woke up this morning with a double chin.

A very red, itchy, bumpy double chin. It seems I've been attacked by bugs or possibly poisonous plants. All I know is that my chin is very, VERY swollen. The good news? I work at a doctors office.

I took some Clarinex when I got here. It didn't work. So then I got a steroid shot. It doesn't seem to be working, either. SO, it looks like they'll be writing me out a prescription of some sort. Jeeez this super sucks. I don't want to spend my weekend with a freakin' chicken wattle for a chin! Ughhhhhh.

In happier news, I'm moving out of my apartment in NINE DAYS!!! It is about damn time.

Friday, glorious Friday!

I am violating so many dress codes right now. In my defense, I can't really help it.

Ohhh the past couple days have destroyed me. I need to relax this weekend, but it's not gonna happen. I plan on marathoning through LOST when I get home and then drinking the sleepy away. Actually, I need to set aside a good 20 minutes just to pacify Jack when I walk through the door. I haven't been home since yesterday morning, so she's probably close to slitting her wrists. Or... paws.

Totally going on a master cleanse next week. Meaghan and I attempted it once before and didn't even last a full day without going on a taco run. It was so pathetic. We're gonna power through this time. I am 37% sure of it.

Other things I decided today include road tripping to Chicago for Lollapalooza in August. Heeee! The line up is amahahazing. It is going to be the best time ever. Get excited. It's going to be so nice not paying rent this summer. It has been so long since I have been free of major financial obligations. I'm going to try really hard to save up money, but I see a few shopping spree's in my future.

Ew, I need to start packing soon. And cleaning. Two of my favorite things. I'd like to think that I'll start the moving process this week, but that's not very likely. I can see myself rushing at the absolute last minute and ghetto packing my apartment up. At least I'm prepared for it.

Don't forget to send your mother's singing telegrams or things of that nature for Mother's Day! I should probably get on that...